Let’s be honest, we all have a favorite person in the office. Everyone has that one colleague that you feel just clicks with you better than anyone else. It might be because they are your preferred drinking buddy, or because they are your go-to for advice when it comes to working problems. Whichever the reason, having a favorite person is an occupational hazard of working in close proximity to other people. But how do you stop having a favorite person? To most people, the idea of not having a favorite person feels like madness, but there are some benefits to not playing favorites in the office. By breaking this habit, you can foster a more collaborative environment and keep team dynamics from getting stale. Here’s how to stop having a favorite person:
How To Stop Having A Favorite Person?
1. Be Transparent
One of the first ways to stop having a favorite person at work is by being transparent and upfront with everyone from the get-go. Let them know that there are no favorites being played and that you are trying to be as fair as possible. Let them know that you’re trying to be fair by giving certain customers to certain people. Let them know that you’re trying to be fair in every way that you can think of.
2. Set Boundaries and Expectations
One of the best ways to stop having a favorite person at work is by setting boundaries and expectations. You need to set expectations for everyone, not just the person you are currently favoring. Let those expectations be that you want them to be productive, helpful, and friendly. Let those expectations be that you want them to be respectful towards one another. Let those expectations be that you want them to be honest and transparent. Let those expectations be that you want them all to work towards the same common goal. Boundaries also need to be set. Let it be known that there is no favoritism being played and that nothing can be done to change that. Let it be known that you are being as fair as you can with the situation at hand. Let it be known that you respect them for who they are and that you want them to succeed. Let it be known that you expect them to do the same and that you’re there to support them.
3. Take a Break
One of the first ways to stop having a favorite person at work is by taking a break from them. Whether that be through time off, a vacation, or just a day off, you need to take a break from them. You need to take a break from their presence, their words, their thoughts, and their actions. You need to take a break from them so that you can start to see things as they are rather than how you want them to be. You need to take a break from them so that you can start to see that the favoritism you’re playing towards them isn’t actually there. You need to take a break from them so that you can start to see that your feelings are getting in the way of your ability to lead. You need to take a break from them so that you can start to see that your feelings for them are actually affecting the rest of your team.
4. Try Something New
One of the first ways to stop having a favorite person at work is by trying something new. You need to try something different. You need to try treating everyone in the same way so that you have no favorites. You need to try treating everyone the same by giving everyone the same amount of respect. You need to try treating everyone the same by giving everyone the same type of encouragement. You need to try treating everyone the same by giving everyone the same amount of feedback. You need to try treating everyone the same by letting them all do their job. There’s no reason why you should favor one person over another. Everyone has their own set of skills and qualities, so there’s no reason why you should favor one person over another.
5. Talk to people you don’t like
This may sound counter-intuitive, but sometimes we feel we have a favorite person because we have the least in common with the people we don’t like. You may find that the people you don’t like the most are the ones you are the most distant from. If you want to stop playing favorites, try to break the ice with your least favorite people. Be sure to keep your goal in mind, but there is no harm in trying to make a friend with someone you don’t particularly click with now. You can also try to break down barriers by volunteering to help out with projects or initiatives that are important to these people. Doing this will allow you to get to know these people better, and will help you stop playing favorites.
6. Make small tweaks to your routine
If you are currently favoring certain people at work, it may be because your routine is encouraging it. If you usually grab a coffee with one colleague and then have a team lunch with another every week, you may be inadvertently favoring those people. You can stop playing favorites by tweaking these routines so that everyone gets a shot at being included. If you usually grab a coffee with your faves, try to make an effort to invite more people to join you. And if team lunches favor one person, you can try to expand the invitation to include more people. Small tweaks like these can help you stop playing favorites without requiring major changes.
Why Do You Have A Favorite Person?
- Having a favorite person in your life is usually a result of close and intense relationships. It can happen between romantic partners, close friends, or family members. For most people, this happens only occasionally.
- It’s usually in a situation where the other person is so incredible that they stand out above the rest. If you have a wide variety of casual friends, but only one or two close friends, there’s a chance that one of them is your fav.
- There are a variety of reasons why you might have a favorite person in your life. You may have intense and close relationships with a few people. You may also have patterns in your relationships.
- You might have a few relationships that are very intense and others that are much more chill. You might also have a few relationships that are very deep and others that are much more casual.
Why It’s Good To Stop Having A Favorite Person?
- Being the fav person can be a high-pressure situation. It can make you feel like you have extra responsibility for that friendship.
- You might feel like you need to keep being there for this person. You might put them on a pedestal, making it harder to have a realistic and healthy relationship with them.
- You might also feel like you have to be the best version of yourself around them.
- All of this pressure can be unhealthy and can lead to problems. Having a favorite person can also have a negative effect on your other relationships. When you favor one friend over the others, the others might feel jealous or left out.
- When you favor one friend over the others, it sends a negative message to the other friends. It can make them feel like they aren’t good enough or that you don’t care about them as much as you care about your fav person.
At the end of the day, you can try to stop playing favorites all you want, but if the people you work with don’t do the same, the problem will likely persist. It is important that everyone on your team makes an effort to be inclusive with their time and attention. If you see someone playing favorites, try to talk to them. Let them know that it is important to you that everyone feels included. If you all make a point of actively trying to be more inclusive with your time, the office will feel a lot more like a team, and you won’t have to force yourself to stop playing favorites.