Are you hot and cold at the same time? You may be, but it’s definitely not an uncommon phenomenon. In fact, most people experience this from time to time. It’s perfectly normal for your feelings to fluctuate when you first start dating someone new—after all, it takes some getting used to a new person in your life! It can be confusing and even frustrating but try not to worry too much about it. These changes are almost always a sign that things are progressing normally between you and your partner. These ups and downs are often referred to as hot and cold behaviors or phrases. Hot and cold behavior is a natural part of any relationship, whether it be dating, friendship or marriage. Depending on where you are in your relationship with another person, hot and cold phases are bound to come up at some point.
Why Am I Hot And Cold At The Same Time
- We want to keep our options open.
- We are afraid of commitment.
- We are not ready for a relationship.
- We are not sure if we really like the person or if we just like the attention they give us.
- We do not care about the other person and just want to have fun with them without any strings attached, without having to deal with commitment or responsibility.
- We are testing out how far we can go with this person before they get tired of it, before they catch on and leave us alone, etc.
What could cause someone to feel hot and cold at the same time
- The person we are dating may be interested in someone else.
- We are not sure if we really like the person or if we just like the attention they give us.
- We do not care about the other person and just want to have fun with them without any strings attached, without having to deal with commitment or responsibility.
- As we get closer and closer, people tend to become more uncomfortable and start pulling away to protect themselves from getting hurt in the end, which is why they will say they need space or time away from you, etc.
- When someone pulls away it can be a sign of fear or uncertainty, it may mean that they are not ready yet for a relationship with you so they pull back until they feel more confident that this is what they want until feel ready enough to pursue a relationship with you exclusively.
- We are testing out how far we can go with this person before they get tired of it, before they catch on and leave us alone, etc.
- We may just be having a bad day or bad week, or something stressful has come up in our life so we are not in the best mood to be with someone else physically or emotionally because it could make us feel worse instead of better so we avoid being around others during these times until we feel better.
- We are afraid that if we get too close to someone that they will hurt us and so we pull away because we do not want to get hurt again like last time by someone else.
How to Stop Feeling Hot and Cold
It’s not easy to change your feelings towards someone, but it is possible with practice. There are a few things you can do to help reduce your feelings of hot and cold.
- When you first start dating someone new, try not to put too much pressure on yourself to be in love with them. It may sound silly, but putting expectations on your relationship is one of the best ways to screw it up.
- If you can stop trying to push your feelings toward your partner, and let them happen naturally, you’re more likely to get what you want in the long run.
- If you find yourself feeling hot and cold towards your partner all the time, it’s a good idea to talk to them about it. But if you’re afraid of talking to them about your feelings, you can avoid this step.
How To Deal With The Hot And Cold Cycle In Relationships
- Try not to take it personally.
- Don’t take their hot and cold behavior personally because they aren’t trying to hurt you or insult you, they are just trying to figure out how they feel about things in general and how they feel about you specifically. If they say something mean or insensitive, try not to take it personally because chances are that they didn’t mean anything by it – even if what they said hurt your feelings a little bit at first, chances are that it was just an offhand comment without much thought put behind it. You don’t need to say anything back either – just ignore the comment and try not to let it bother you too much in the future!
- Try not to take their hot and cold behavior personally because after all, we’re only human! We all have feelings that change from day to day based on how we feel at any given moment – so if someone is changing their mind quite often when they’re with someone new, don’t be too offended by this! It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you as a person – but rather that there is something wrong with the way that this person is feeling about you. Just try not to let it get to you too much and look for ways to improve your relationship in the future!
- “Hot-and-Cold” is a song originally released by Pat Benatar in October 1984 on her album Tropico, and later re-recorded for her 1991 compilation album Greatest Hits. It was written by Neil Giraldo and Pat Benatar. The song peaked at No. 6 on the Billboard Hot 100 and No. 2 on the Billboard Top Rock Tracks chart in late 1984/early 1985. It also reached No. 10 on the Adult Contemporary chart, becoming her sixth Top 10 single there (and first since “Promises In The Dark” three years prior).
- The song was inspired by Benatar’s friend who had an affair with a married man, then dumped him when his wife returned home from vacation; Benatar wrote it as a warning to other women not to fall into the same trap as she had done with similar men in the past – “Don’t go there”).
Bottom line
If you are experiencing hot and cold feelings in your relationship, don’t freak out. This is a normal part of any relationship, whether it be dating, friendship or marriage. Your feelings towards your partner will go up and down as you get to know them better. If you can stop trying to push your feelings toward your partner, and let them happen naturally, you’re more likely to get what you want in the long run.
